Update

So I haven't updated in over a month... And I deeply apologize for that. With school, work, and other obligations, I haven't quite had the time to blog, but now that I do at the moment, I shall give an update! Well... A not so good update.

So I promised myself to get back on track with clean eating towards the end of summer, but that honestly hasn't been going well for me. And I seem like such a two-faced person right now, but despite posting pictures of healthy recipes on my Instagram feed, behind the scenes it's been so tough for me to handle my eating disorder and NOT eat everything in sight. This disorder has gotten the best of me, and I can see the results of fat rapidly accumulating in places on my body that I thought were not possible. And it's making more depressed than ever. But I've been picking up on my QT's (Quiet Times) lately, and God reminded me in James 1: 6-8 to ask for His guidance, for His wisdom, and for His help to assist me during this difficult time. I feel sluggish, bloated, fat, and my self-esteem has been at an all time low. But when I look to my Father who constantly reminds me that I'm still beautiful in His eyes, He gives me hope. 

I weigh the most I've ever weighed before... But it gives me more motivation to shed off that fat and to get back in shape. I don't want to be the underweight, anemic girl I was in sophomore year, but this year, I want to be fit, lean, and healthy.

So starting tomorrow I'm going to be more responsible with what I do. I'm going to write down the foods I eat, the exercises I do, and hopefully I'll be able to see results!

Again, I apologize for not being consistent with myself. This journey is hard, harder than I thought, but I'm not going to give up. I'm doing this for my body, and I'm going to treat my body right. Which means no more processed foods or anything that's harmful to it! :)

Raw Vegan Energy Bites

Ahh!! I'm so sorry for not updating the blog since September 7.... Whoops.... I'm not sure if anyone reads this blog, but still! I should be a little more responsible for posting updates.

Anyway, today I was in kind of a baking mood, so I decided to try one of Ella's (from her Deliciously Ella blog) recipes: The Ultimate Energy Bites! Oh my... They're so delicious.  Packed with nutrients from dates, a variety of nuts, chia seeds, and cinnamon, these energy packed balls are absolutely yummy and super good for you! No preservatives, so all the ingredients are raw, which means better for your body! :)

So they might look like poo balls... But they're the best and most delicious poo balls I've ever tasted. Seriously... If any of you is craving a sweet tooth or wants something to snack on, you seriously have to make these. Soooooo good!

Recipe (I modified it a little bit because I didn't have some of the ingredients. Either way, I don't think the absence of these ingredients took away from these bites' deliciousness!):

Makes 15-20 balls

• 1 cup of medjool dates (pitted)
• 3/4 cup of almonds
• 3/4 cup of walnuts
• 3 tablespoons of chia seeds
• 2 tablespoons of ground cinnamon
• 1 tablespoon of coconut oil
• 1 tablespoon of raw cacao powder (I just used cacao nibs)
• 1 tablespoon of water

In a food processor, grind the almonds, walnuts, and chia seeds for one minute until the nuts are all ground up and the mixture contains a flour like consistency.

Then add in all the other ingredients and grind for one minute until it obtains a sticky dough.

Using your hands, grab some of the dough and shape them into balls. Put in a bowl and set in the refrigerator!

Voila! No messiness or anything! And super quick too :)

Enjoy!

Original recipe:

http://deliciouslyella.com/the-ultimate-energy-bites-vegan-gluten-free-dairy-free/

(I recommend looking at her blog in general. She posts the most amazing recipes)

Lemonade

Today marks the third day of my 30 day challenge, and I admit... I kind of went a little overboard on the eating today :/ But I'm not going to beat myself up for it! An important thing to note about this journey is that it's not going to be easy, so tomorrow I'm going to get back on track and try even harder to restrain myself from eating unhealthy, over processed foods! :)

So why the title, "Lemonade"? Well... I'll begin with the day's events first.

I FINALLY MOVED INTO MY NEW APARTMENT. WOOOOOH. I am SOO excited for the apartment life, it's crazy. I'm living with five other girls (I know... Seems like a dangerous situation...), but I know each girl very well, and we're all part of the same campus ministry :) One thing I'm most excited about with moving to the apartments is that I FINALLY get to cook for myself. No more dorm food!!! Yes, UCLA has been ranked #1/2 for best dorm food in the past years, but for me personally, eating at the dorms every day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner gets really boring... And sickening... So you can imagine the excitement I'm feeling toward cooking :D 

After setting up the desk, bed, and all other appliances, my mom took me to a restaurant called Lemonade in Brentwood.  Let me tell you... This is one of my all time favorite restaurants.  It serves healthy food that tastes OH SO DELICIOUS!! It's like a cafeteria setting where you can choose from platters, and they also have a variety of soups, poultry, seafood, and sandwiches! It's so freaking good, and I know I don't like hyping things, but this place has GOT to be hyped. And it will meet your expectations, I guarantee you!! Even my MOM was pleasantly surprised at how scrumptious the food was, and my mom's a pretty good food critic. Hence the title of this post, Lemonade.  I didn't feel bad eating food from here because it's all organic, freshly made, and delicious!! (Sorry... I keep having to say delicious because the food is just that good hehe). I ordered a four course with tomatoes and avocados mixed with pine nuts in lime juice, watermelon radish with snap peas and cut pieces of seared tuna ahi, brussels sprouts marinated in this really yummy sauce with golden raisins, and couscous with mushrooms! I shared that platter with my mom, who ordered an avocado topped with smoked salmon from the seafood section, tandoori chicken with chopped mangoes, and an arugula salad mixed with feta cheese and figs.

Ahhhhh, my stomach was so satisfied after that meal. But then here's where the bad part happened... My mom ended up buying a chocolate chip cookie and an oatmeal raisin cookie afterward (oatmeal cookies.. My weakness!). I'm not saying these delicious treats are bad, but for me, I need to learn self-restraint because when I start eating cookies, or any kind of processed foods (ESPECIALLY sweets filled with tons of sugar), I go into mindless eating monster mode and eat MORE than just that cookie (like Nutella, ice cream sandwiches, ice cream, chocolate bars, the list goes on...). But I gave into my sweet tooth and ate the cookie... Sigh. It's okay though! I've learned my diet should be about moderation and consistency, so next time I'm just going to learn to restrain myself! I'm keeping an optimistic mindset rather than beating myself up for indulging in a cookie :) And I've got to admit... That cookie was just so. Freaking. Yummy.

Here's the plate that I bought (or rather, my mom bought):

Yum yum yum :)

I probably sounded like a freak typing this entry... But whatever! I'm motivated to continue on this clean eating journey and see the transformations both inside and outside :)

Day 1/30

Day 1/30 that begins my journey toward healthy eating.  I know a lot of people view me as the "health freak" who always eats salads, never eats junk food, etc. etc. I just wanted to clear things up by confessing that I'm not the healthiest eater. During the summer, I realized how I was depriving my body of food that it needed: During school, I hardly ate (I ate fruit for dinner, which may work for some people, but for me, I was going on starvation mode) and I overexercised.  I found myself to be constantly tired and lethargic, and there were few instances where I almost passed out when walking to class.  The circumstances were becoming frightening, but I refused to listen to my body and worked out even harder without replenishing myself with nutrients.  I shut myself in my room almost every day, and I refused to eat out with my friends because I was afraid that if I strayed from my regular routine, the food that I ate would make me gain 10 pounds, and I did not want to face that.

However, when I did eat out, or when I was confronted with foods like pasta, burgers, and especially sweets (cookies, brownies, etc.), I literally became this mindless eating monster (okay.. Maybe monster is too dramatic of a term to describe this situation). I ate everything in sight and more, and I stuffed myself to the point where I almost threw up.  I was depriving my body so much of food, any kind of food for that matter, that when I was exposed to foods other than salad and fruit, I HAD to eat everything in sight.  And when I overstuffed myself, I began to hate my body and I would reprimand myself for going too far. The next day, I would spend almost three hours at the gym constantly working out and I would refrain myself from eating more than a small bowl of salad and fruit.  This process of binging and overexercising became a part of me, and I was no longer pursuing that healthy lifestyle.  Instead, I just wanted to be skinny. I became underweight and anemic, and my parents and surrounding people were seriously concerned about me.

This summer, I stayed home and constantly snacked on everything. I did a lot of research and found out that I had a binge eating disorder. I would mindlessly snack for three hours straight, eating 20 chocolate chip cookies each with a heaping scoop of Nutella on top, then I would eat three ice cream sandwiches, and STILL not full, I would grab a bag of chips and eat two granola bars after that. Even when my stomach was full, my mind told me to keep eating until I felt like throwing up, and that's exactly what I did. I hated myself for constantly falling into this trap, but I felt like I had no self-control.  Soon enough, I gained back all the weight I had lost, and more. I looked in the mirror every day and detested what I saw. I felt gross both inside and out, and I hated the lifestyle I was living. I wanted to change; I wanted to finally see what living healthy meant, but I couldn't seem to get out of this routine of binge eating.

Finally, I came across some bloggers who have gone through similar experiences and who have conquered their urges in eating everything in sight. Their stories of recovery became my motivation and strive to push myself to improve my lifestyle because if they can do it, then so can I.

Today marks the first day of me taking a step into that healthy lifestyle.  It's not going to be easy, I KNOW that.  But I'm never one to back down from a challenge.  I've had more downs than ups this past year, but I'm tired of treating my body like crap and feeding it unhealthy food.  I want to treat my body right, and I want to feel good both inside and out.  I'm going to work hard and eat clean, and the results will show. Of course I'll treat myself out because it's all about balance, but moderation and consistency is key.  I'll be blogging about what I ate and some new recipes that I try that I want to share for those who are interested!

I'm actually really excited to begin this new journey because I know that I won't regret making this decision :)

Breakfast (eyeballed everything):

One banana (sliced) . Blueberries . Greek yogurt . 5 almonds . Small handful of cacao nibs  

Lunch:

1/2 Low carb La Tortilla Factory . Greek yogurt . Cottage cheese Mixed green salad . 4 yellow cherry tomatoes . Smoked salmon . Mashed avocados (seasoned with salt and pepper) . Egg .

Dinner (not pictured):

Spaghetti squash . No salt added marinara sauce . Ground turkey . 

Snacks:

1 Mango with cinnamon

(Not pictured): Cantaloupe . 5 almonds . 1/2 sweet potato 

Ubatuba

Of course for my first blog post, I WOULD dedicate it to food... But anyway, I just want to say welcome to my blog! As a noob, I have no idea what I'm doing, but considering posting pictures and writing about my life seems like a simple task, I'm sure I can manage :) I hope what you find here will be interesting and maybe inspiring!

Today I decided to take my mom to Ubatuba, a hole in the wall cafe area that specializes in healthy food known as acai bowls. Honestly, when I first read "acai" I read it as "ah-kah-ee," but through my ignorance, I was able to learn that it's actually pronounced as "ah-sah-ee." These bowls full of nutrition and super foods pack a flavorful punch that kind of makes them deceivingly unhealthy because they're just that good! I heard about acai bowls through Instagram and Facebook, and striving toward a healthy lifestyle (through its ups and many downs), I HAD to try one.

Ubatuba is located on Ventura Boulevard, and it's literally a hole in the wall with a lavender colored patio sticking out. I ordered a small acai bowl (which already comes with bananas, strawberries, and granola!) and added cacao nibs (the bitter part of chocolate) with some honey. When the bowl came out, of course I had to take a picture and post it on Instagram... I mean, this is such a monumental moment! When I took the first bite... Oh man... It was like a party in my mouth: Bursts of rich flavors poppin' everywhere! The acai mixture was so refreshing, and the granola and cacao nibs added a nice crunch and texture. Of course, the strawberries, bananas, and honey added a sweetness that could satisfy any person's sweet tooth!

I fell in love with acai bowls after visiting Ubatuba, and if anyone is in the area, I really recommend going there for a refreshing and satisfying snack!

So. Dang. Good.

(This sounds so much like a Yelp post... Sorry, didn't want it to seem like that.)